SPEAKER_03: 0:49

Okay, welcome back to the Self Made and Single podcast. I'm your host, Rachel Rose. It's been a while, but it's because business has been so busy and I've had the opportunity to have some of the greatest clients, I think, some really, really inspirational women. I think all of my clients are inspirational, but I think particularly this year, I've really been gifted and blessed with clients who really want love and they're focused on making that a priority and it's showing in their results. So today I have Marta Savetta, who's going to be talking about her experience, but I'll let her introduce herself a little bit more. So welcome Marta. Hi, nice to be here. Nice to have you. Nice to have you. I've been really excited about this interview for so long because your story is so interesting, and I think a lot of women are going to get a lot out of it. So tell us a little bit about who you are, uh, what you do, and what type of programmable service did you have with myself?

SPEAKER_04: 1:53

So my name is Martha Zabera, and I am a mental health professional uh in the States. And I received I actually went into one of your um like you were offering this service through through um a particular website I found you that I was just looking to see, like to work on myself, just uh some soul searching, and I think it was attract attract your soulmate or something, or marriage or something. And yeah, it just caught my eye and I was like, let me look into this because I I was coming out of a relationship, maybe a month or two out of a relationship, and I was just looking to see maybe what I was doing wrong, you know, uh in in attracting certain types of people.

SPEAKER_03: 2:45

So yeah. Thanks. Love it, and so as a result of the program that you've been on, so you've been on attractor equal for like since January. I think January is when you came on board, isn't it? So uh you're just December.

SPEAKER_04: 3:00

I I think I saw your other one in December.

SPEAKER_03: 3:03

Yeah, so I think we got you were on a master class in December, and then like we started properly in J. Yeah. So um, what's been the biggest breakthrough of being on this five-month program?

SPEAKER_04: 3:16

The biggest breakthrough. I mean, I I don't know what you're accustomed to, but I feel like I'm such a special situation. Um, I was again going through my own little process of like grieving the loss of like a relationship, but then a physic, it turned into a physical loss. And I was already, I guess I've been on a spiritual path. So you just happened to be that type of a person. And I don't know, it was all set up by the universe for it to be this way. I feel like now looking back, like the way it was all set up, um, the the trickle of events and how it all came out. I feel like I was supposed to be on this type of a journey to be able to get through what I was going through. I've I've always been trying to find love, like my person. Um it's just I come across certain types of people, and yeah, they're not bad people, but it's just I never find the person that I've always been wanting to look for that's my equal, like that's aligned with me. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 4:30

And I think that was a really big thing when we first started talking as well. Like, yes, okay, attracting love isn't the issue. It's like, am I gonna be met? You know, am I gonna be met on my level? Um, so that was also that's your biggest breakthrough because that's the name of the program. So it's wonderful. So you've taught us a little bit like you were grieving a relationship because of course your your ex-partner had passed away. Um so you've told us a little bit about where you were in life. So tell us a little bit more. Like, why was it that you were looking for love? Like, what did you feel like having that soulmate relationship that met you at your level would do for you?

SPEAKER_04: 5:11

Uh it would it would just um I'm not gonna say it would complete me because I feel like I've come a long way and I feel like I am whole, but it's always been that thing that I just wanna have someone to get through life with, you know, and that wants to do the same. Um you know, like life is hard as it is, and it's just hard to do it alone. So I you know, I thought it was time, like I've been single, single for a while, like I've dated on and off, and I've had situationships as they call it now, and they're not fulfilling, you know, they're not you know, you you feel empty, you don't you don't feel like you have someone to either arrive to or somebody that arrives to you, you know.

SPEAKER_03: 6:06

So I 100% agree. I think as well, like knowing yourself as a high achieving woman, there's so much depth there as well. So those kind of relationships are just not gonna be satisfying. Um, and I think it just comes with a level of spiritual growth as well. You reach a point where it's like, okay, on a physical level, that's great, but who's gonna care for my soul? Who's caressing my soul? Like these situationships can't really do that, you know?

SPEAKER_01: 6:32

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03: 6:33

And I remember so like part of the Attractor Equal program is having like a dual um dating strategy. So a lot of the women I meet before we work together either do one or the other, they're either only face-to-face or only online, and the part of the program is having that hybrid um strategy. But I particularly remember the resistance around online dating.

SPEAKER_04: 6:56

Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_03: 6:58

Yep, yep. Talk to us. That was me. That was so talk to us about um what you were experiencing before the program when it came to online dating.

SPEAKER_04: 7:10

Before, yes, before the program, I I I was dating, you know, I was looking at people like that I was around. Obviously, I'm not in college, I'm not in school anymore, I'm grown, I'm in the work field. So if you're not out and about, you're not attracting anybody, or you're attracting people, but you're attracting people at work. If you're at the grocery store, I don't know, if you're just out and about, but um, I wasn't really going out and I was kind of over it because prior to that I was on a dating site and I was there for three and a half years, and I was attracting people, but it was just it was just ridiculous. Like people make it seem like they want to be in relationships or they want to get to know you, but they're just telling you things that they that you want to hear to test things out. Um and I had a little bit of PTSD, I'm not gonna lie. When you were like, Yeah, I need you to get back on this because now you have me. And I'm like, but girl, understand where I'm coming from. Um, you know, um, but I was glad that I stuck with it, you know, that I tried again because it allowed me to stay focused instead of losing patience and and assuming that I'm gonna just immediately the first person that I come across, I'm gonna be in relationship with. Because that's what I was doing. I was like meeting someone, oh, they're attractive, but I don't know anything about them. So just being patient with myself and the process, you know, was important. Um, and it kept me focused and you know, it gave me a little bit of hope because I really wasn't feeling it. Yeah. I really wasn't, I wasn't feeling it. I'm not gonna lie. I I definitely had P like that's the best word to describe it, PTSD. Yeah. Because no, I I remember mentioning to you that I saw the same exact guys from two years, because I've been off that app for two and a half years ago, like for two and a half years, and they were still there. And I'm like, these uh dudes are not trying to be nowhere. Like, who what why am I looking at them again?

SPEAKER_03: 9:30

So yes, yeah, and and I'm sure because the thing is that's something a lot of women say as well, like they're the repeat kind of people that came on, but like Marcel, as you said, it's sticking with the plan, which was I want to sell my relationship. Like let them get on with their stuff. We're we're not gonna be swiping right on them. Let's stick to the motive, which is getting your person, you know. Right. And okay, so so we went on the apps and then we did tweak your profile a bit. So tell us about your experience when we did that, because it's not like we overhauled it, right? But there were specific things that made a change in in the kind of people you were getting. So, like, tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_04: 10:18

About the yeah, so uh well before my previous profiles, I you know obviously had more seductive looking pictures like at the beach, on holiday, like on vacation. Um so I didn't have any of those. I did have like sexy pictures uh with nice outfits, but not nothing crazy revealing. Um and I also had like professional pictures, like me at work, me uh vacation, you know, and that was I think that also made a big difference that I was in like just in a in a bikini.

SPEAKER_03: 10:57

Because we know you're hot, we know you're beautiful, you know. But it's it's so when I remember when you dropped me that voxer, I think it was a voxer message, and you're like, I do see the difference. It's like, yeah. Because you're calling in a completely different kind of masculine energy now. It's like, oh, okay. I see that she's obviously good looking, I see she's sexy, I see she's attractive, she's also successful, but I see that not everything is advertised, and that really piques like a really heavily masculine um kind of man. So, okay, so the wonderful thing is that you have ended the program in this relationship. So tell us a little bit about how you guys met, like who he is. You don't have to say his name, but like tell us a little bit about him and how he's different from your past relationships.

SPEAKER_04: 11:48

Um, okay, so yes, I did meet someone that I connected with, and it was not easy. It was not easy to say the least because he is challenging, but in a good way. Um and it also challenges me to like again stay the course, not be so combative when we're in argument or just disagreement. Um, but also be assertive and say what I feel in the moment, uh, so that we know where each other's coming from. And I know that before I used to just if I didn't like anything, I was just like the hell with this. Like I'm not, I don't have to be bothered with it. He is much he is younger than me, um, which I was reluctant at first. But um he's he's mature, he does have children, which I don't I don't mind. He doesn't have baby mama drama as we say here. Um you know, so yeah, and I think he's in his own path to figuring out and learning his way, like to have patience in life in general. And I think we bring that like we bring that balance between each other if we balance each other out in that way because he definitely has to have a certain certain set of patience to be around me. Yeah, because I don't have I don't I don't have uh hair in my tongue and I will speak up, but I I watch how I say it, and I think he learns from that. Like I tell him don't talk, you can't speak to me in that way. Like you need to find another way of how to express yourself, and you just can't walk away um while we're having a disagreement, you can't just avoid it because that's something that we struggled with in the beginning. Like it was a lot of avoidance and a lot of like dismissiveness, and I was like, if we're gonna do this, we're gonna have to revisit how we talk to each other, how we communicate.

SPEAKER_03: 14:05

So yeah. Where do you think that came from? Like that ability to come back, like literally just before we hit record, I was um saying the words like you two always come home to each other, like regardless of what comes up. So, what do you feel is specifically from the program that enables you to do that or amplify some of the skills that you had before?

SPEAKER_04: 14:27

Yeah, I think it was week two or three, can't remember exactly, but like you know, like you set a standard, you know, and and you stay focused on that standard, like you don't deviate and you don't also think about the things that happened to you in the past, like you don't project, and you you stay in the here and now with who you're working with now. So that's what that's what I gather from it. Obviously, I'm a therapist, so I know how to like do certain things, but yes, you know, so I love that.

SPEAKER_03: 15:03

But it's yeah, it's just I think people think, uh, particularly women who I speak to in a lot of other capital cities as well, because yeah, capital city dating is something, isn't it? Like it's it can be lots of different things, like yes, you get the variety, but you also get a lot of different experience, some of them wilder than others. Yeah. Um but there can be, I guess, this catch 22 of yes, there are millions of people at my disposal, even from where you are, for example, you've got connecting states, so you've got like even more of an opportunity to meet more people. But with that comes sometimes this feeling where people think people are disposable. And it's like, oh, you did this wrong, goodbye. Um it's lovely that you got that. Actually, you know, it's it's not looking at potential and only going on potential, it's finding that middle ground of no, like I see where this is going. If there's conflict, let's work through it. And the working through it is what's really gonna determine the long-term compatibility, right? Yeah. So um, no, I think that's I think that's something.

SPEAKER_04: 16:09

I think there's something. I'm sorry, no, no, no, you go. I think that's something that I is gonna come slip my mind, but something that I noticed in all this in this entire process is that the the whole com you said something about us coming back to each other and and being each other's balance and stuff. Like um, it's something that it'll come to me because I was gonna say something related to that, but I can't think of it right now.

SPEAKER_03: 16:45

If it comes back, let's know. It's fine. That's me on a daily basis. I'm like, I wanted to say something. So, like, okay, so where are you guys now in your relationship and um how does he make you feel?

SPEAKER_04: 17:01

So right now we are we're still like in that dating space. I think it's I think we're going on four months or just under four months. Um and he's already had conversations with people that around him because he does have children and that he wants to introduce me to his family. And I've met a few, but I didn't I haven't met the you know his kids, and I I I'm fine with that because I feel like it was too soon when he when he wanted it to happen, and um it's been discussed with their the children's mother, and they also felt the same, like they it was too too soon, and there was a little backlash between him and that person, but um nothing to do with me. Um I said, look, I'm okay with whatever whatever you guys decide or whatever. It's just it was getting in the way of like when we would spend time and that and it was bothering him, so that's why it was an issue. So um there's some adjustments still that are still being tweaked and combed. Um but so far we're we're going, we're together, you know. We're like we're doing this.

SPEAKER_03: 18:30

Yeah, and what would you say the best um thing is about him and the best thing that he brings out in you? He's funny as hell.

SPEAKER_04: 18:43

Like we were just giggling and laughing about like the silliest thing over on Friday. Um we we were hanging out, and I don't know what the hell we were laughing about, but it was just like kind of like constant laughter, and like just he does bring that out of me, like you know, nice, and then just being silly and comic relief, you know. Um that's really the best part about him. But he he's also a great cook. He's a great father, you know, great father to both his kids. He doesn't have any drama when it comes to them and when it comes to the co-parenting. Um because that was something I was worried about at first, and he doesn't. Um, but yeah, that those are like a few other favorite things about me.

SPEAKER_03: 19:37

I love that. And so every now and then, like I obviously have these different kinds of masterclasses, like the one that you joined, where there are women who love this idea of being on the program, being able to attract a soulmate level relationship, but they get cold feet. So, what would you say to anyone watching this now or listening to this now who's on the fence about signing up? What would you encourage them to do? What advice would you give them?

SPEAKER_04: 20:05

Yeah, I would say honestly, have patience with the process. Um, again, I was already in a situation, you know, in a in a getting through a situation, but I was ready. It wasn't that I wasn't ready to be in a relationship, it was just like I was tired of attracting the wrong people. Um but I wasn't giving myself the grace and the time and the patience to get through the process to attract the appropriate person for me. Um so yeah, just to just have patience and give it a chance, just like at least if you give it a chance, at least you could say you tried something once and that's it.

SPEAKER_03: 20:56

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04: 20:57

And move on to the next, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 20:59

Exactly. And I think that was your exact energy when you signed up, right? You were like, right, I'm detached from this, I'm trying something new, let's go. And I think that's really the secret recipe because particularly, I remember actually thinking, I was like, when she was when you were signing up, I thought, hmm, the therapist, let's see how this goes because let's see how this goes because you've got a lot of skills, right, that are very much transferable in life coaching and beyond. So I was like, okay, let's see how this goes. Like, let's see if she's open to this because it's it's a specialized type of life coaching rather than therapy. And you were so receptive, and that's why you've had the results that you've had. And I think a key thing for you, Magita, is like leaning on your spirituality. I think you leaned on it even more during this process, like really leaning on your intuition as well more. Um so that's really helped you, and it's gonna help you moving forward as well. I just hope I get invite to the wedding, okay? Of course, I thought that I guess you're natural. I need I need to be pre I'll prepare the stomach because I won't eat for several months because it's gonna be Latin American food. I need to get my visa in check.

SPEAKER_02: 22:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_04: 22:14

And it probably might be an away wedding. So you probably not even come with New York. Let's go. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_03: 22:20

Let's do it. Let's do it. Well, it's so lovely to see you so happy. Um, particularly, you know, like we were talking about, like the loss that you experienced. I'm so, so, so happy to have worked with you, see you so happy, see you glowing. And yeah, just wish you the best with yourself and mister. And um, yeah, any any parting words that you wanted us to say, like anything that's just cropping up in your mind, like, okay, I kind of wish I said this, but I didn't get to.

SPEAKER_04: 22:55

No, man, just I appreciate you. Um thank you for this this ride. It's been a it hasn't been a long one. It's been a it's been just right. It's it's it's honestly step by step what I've been supposed to have been going through. And I honestly I don't think I would have gotten through what I was experiencing at the time if I wasn't on this if I didn't like see your masterclass thing. Um it was just odd. It was just really it was just really aligned, I guess is the the proper word.

SPEAKER_03: 23:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 23:34

Like it came at the right time.

SPEAKER_03: 23:37

I believe so too. I believe so freakishly so, right? It was really the right time. Um, love that. Okay, we will leave it there. Thanks guys for listening, and you will see Matta here and there, I guess.