'A Double-Minded Man is Unstable in All His Ways' (James 1:8) with Founder and CEO, Alexandria Degree

Speaker 1: 0:00

Did I give it away or was it a persuasion? You all in my space, I, I owe it. I don't care what you say, I'm loving it this way. I'm hoping that you stay. I, I owe it. It's only you. Was it a persuasion? Don't believe me, stay, it's only you. I love what you say I'm loving host Rachel Rose. So today we have with us someone who has really touched on a subject that I think more women need to be talking about more openly. We're talking about power and it not being exclusively masculine. So today we have with us Alexandria Degree, founder of a compliance firm in the FS industry, to talk a little bit more about her success, this particular topic and also how she's getting on in the dating world. Welcome, alexandria.

Speaker 2: 1:08

Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1: 1:10

I'm so excited, and me and me, so we were just like blabbing away. Guys. You know by now that I like to talk, so I was keeping an eye on the watch. But what I would love for you, Alexandria, is for everyone else who hasn't got a chance to get to know you yet. Tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got started.

Speaker 2: 1:27

Sure thanks. So I actually got started, not under my own power. So I was just going to undergrad, I was in college doing the typical college life, and it was actually one of my older sisters who put in a job application for me in banking as a teller. And I got a random phone call that said, hey, would you like to come in for an interview? And I said yeah. And so I got into it and I just figured it would be something to carry me through undergrad, you know, just to get a couple of dollars in my pocket before I got my bachelor's. But I stuck with it and I went through all what we would call frontline roles. So I was like a teller, a loan officer, a vault supervisor and really diving into the vault world. That's where I got my first taste of auditing, so auditing high you know volumes of currency. And then at the same time I went to follow my master's, I went into an MBA program and when I got out of that program I fully went into the back office of banking.

Speaker 2: 2:35

So I became a compliance analyst and I actually moved from where I was at I was in Wisconsin and I moved back to California and I got an opportunity at a really interesting bank that was going through transition so it actually was morphing from a credit union to a community bank to a state bank and that afforded me a lot of exposure into the different, let's say, back-end skeletons is what I like to call them. So it's like the framework of what the business is built on, and I found it very intriguing to understand the widgets and the pulleys and everything that makes the bank work behind the scenes. And you really need to understand that in order to be in compliance, because compliance is all about risk management and making sure that what you think is going to happen actually does happen and that the unthinkable you know risks against your business don't come in and basically ruin everything. And so, understanding all the various departments, it made me feel as though I had like a secret skeleton key and I was able to get into operations and sales and tech and understand their lingo and their language, because each department has their own terminology and languages that they use. So it was a really cool experience.

Speaker 2: 4:00

And then I got the opportunity to become a chief compliance officer at I think I was like 26 or something like that, and I was over a couple different sites, one in California and one in Chicago, and that was a really good opportunity. But then I realized I basically hit the top of my ladder and I was like there's no other role over a chief compliance officer Like I did it, and I felt like I was peaking too early and I thought that you know what? I can't do this same thing for the next 25 years because I'm only like 25. So I have another 20 years to go and I began moonlighting in consulting work, so working with founders who were trying to spin up financial services companies and I would help them build out their policies and stuff like that.

Speaker 2: 4:56

I then jumped from my role to a, you know, one of the you know the really the greatest places I worked at from a learning perspective and I'll shout out their name Lone Depot, because I really did learn a lot from you know how you actually execute a vision and how you actually you know use your people to the best of their ability and how you leverage each person against the other. It was just a great place to learn and see that, and that really is what sparked my entrepreneurial book is seeing that, and so, from the moonlighting, I decided in 2017, you know what I'm going to dive full force into this and I spun up the firm and ever since then I've just been working with financial services companies, building out compliance programs and helping them with strategy and, you know, doing a bit of information security compliance as well as what we call operational compliance, and that's pretty much been the journey since then been the journey since since then, nice, nice.

Speaker 1: 6:09

So I know compliance is not the sexiest thing, so how do you keep it sexy? How do you keep?

Speaker 2: 6:11

exciting.

Speaker 2: 6:12

It really is um an art form to be quite honest, um, and that's the way I look at it.

Speaker 2: 6:19

Like I, I really do enjoy art in all ways, and so being creative was something that was a requirement for me, or else I will, I will shut down, like, like, I won't continue, and that's one of the things that I actually learned is, I like to build, I like to create, I don't like to maintain, and so being able to jump in with these new companies and build things out was just really exciting, because it's it's a new team, it's a new product, it's all these new challenges and, although the regulations are the same, the way that you apply it to your specific business model requires creativity, requires creativity and especially, let's say, starting in like 2018, 2019, we started diving into crypto and blockchain-based projects, and so, from a regulatory perspective, the regulation still hasn't caught up to this new technology, so we're working in a gray area where yes, there are some regulations that have now caught up in 2023, but by and large, you have to have a little bit of creativity in how you apply these traditional rules to this very new form of a financial asset.

Speaker 2: 7:40

So I think working in the startup space and being in that area of financial services helps to keep it creative and fresh for me, Nice.

Speaker 1: 7:54

That's a really good spin on it, because I've always thought okay, how do people actually keep exciting? But if you are always creating, it sounds like you're a very creative person. Then it's always kind of new and there's always a different way to look at it, yeah. So yeah, if you are such a creative person, what other outlets do you have that are purely creative? Do you have?

Speaker 2: 8:16

purely creative. Um, I do a lot of just random creative projects, like I'll pick up painting. I've painted since I was a small child and I'll do it in cycles where I'll just paint for several months at a time. Then I might not paint again for a couple of years, but I do enjoy painting. I really enjoy fashion, so putting together outfits, whether it's for myself or people around me. I love coordinating things in that way. I also love music. I play a little bit of piano, but I don't know you know a little bit, but I do know how to you know play the piano. My father instilled in all of us that we have to learn to play music, so all of us play at least one instrument. I'm the one. My other sisters know how to play to a flute and a violin plus the piano, so that's an orchestra. Basically. I think he was trying to create a band, but we didn't follow through. We didn't follow through, but we know the basics. Well, my sisters, they know more than the basics that's called destiny's child.

Speaker 1: 9:23

That's what he was trying to do is like the orchestra version I'm gonna tell him that that's funny. But if he decides, to do that a trademark, and I definitely are going to be co-manager with him exactly I was like you.

Speaker 2: 9:37

You owe her. She came up with this. You owe her, she brought your vision to life. Um, so I do that and and, plus, I, I follow, um, I follow artists. You know I I love poets and and writers and you know, my sister is actually a published poet and a writer and, um, all that type of stuff. So I do leave, let's say, the regulation and just dive straight into the artsy world from time to time, um, but yeah, nice so okay.

Speaker 1: 10:08

So back to the firm, because it must be quite an interesting world. Like you're always dodging minefields, essentially, your job is to make sure that's a lovely way to put it right like you've got to make sure things don't blow up. So what do you think has been a really big challenge in running this firm, do you think?

Speaker 2: 10:32

um, one of the biggest challenges actually came last year. So, um, I don't know how much the audience follows cryptocurrency, but there's been several large scale implosions that have happened over the last year where regulators have have come and made decisions that have shaken entire business models. You know things that that you could do 18 months ago. Now it's essentially illegal to do those types of things.

Speaker 2: 11:05

18 months ago now, it's essentially illegal to do those types of things, and there's just been issues with the trust and the transparency of some of the players in the industry have brought a lot of negative attention to the space, and because of that, a lot of the projects that I work with are investor funded.

Speaker 2: 11:25

So so they they go to, whether it's angels or VCs, and they get their funding in order to to get their projects going Well. Obviously, if there is volatility in a market, investors are going to be a little bit more weary about putting their funds into these types of projects. So there's definitely been a hit to that side of the business as far as those projects coming through. And also, I would say, another area that's a bit it's always a bit shaky is those that don't understand compliance. So there's what us in the risk side, we typically call them the cowboys, and the cowboys are the founders and the leaders who are. You know, they're doing it for glory. They're doing it, a lot of times, for the show of it all. They're doing it a lot of times for the show of it all. They're passionate about it, but they're in a state of they don't want anything to get in their way.

Speaker 2: 12:32

And so sometimes they believe that the ends always justifies the means and they'll cut corners and they'll skip things and they'll not implement things because they think ultimately the vision must come to pass.

Speaker 2: 12:48

And you know having those conversations with the founder and you know having them not feel as though you're trying to take control of their project, because it's a very sensitive piece. When you're you know, I'm sure you know what you have going on. When you create something, it becomes like almost like a child to you, whether it's your podcast or your business or whatever it is. You become very guarded if someone tries to shape it in a different way. So it has been a challenge, but I think we've done pretty good with being able to allow individuals to see that we're not here to take from you. We're here because we have foresight. This might be your first or your second fintech, though I've never technically opened a fintech. I've just been around the things and the people and I've gone through the milestones that you're trying to chase, and so presenting it in that way that you know we're basically like to help is definitely one of the areas that has continuously been rather a bit of a difficult piece in executing this business.

Speaker 1: 14:15

I really wanted to ask as well, I think, on top of that, do you find that it's a little bit harder being a woman as well and trying to really enforce some of those visions of your own from a compliance perspective?

Speaker 2: 14:28

oh yeah, um, and I, you know I'm gonna give, I'm not gonna paint um the genders in a stark way, but I have absolutely run into situations where, dealing directly with with the male, you can just, you know, it's just, you know it's just an energy and the tone and the way and the shortness and the you know, it's just all these, these, these characteristics of. I don't want to just throw out misogyny because it's such a used word, but it definitely is.

Speaker 2: 15:06

And it's a person who, if the message was coming from a man, they would respond completely different. They would you know. They would, you know, simmer down a bit and not come with the bite. But you know, one of my running jokes is like you know, I might look cute like a panda, but I'm also an orca at the same time, and so I can hold my own pretty well. You know, I'm very diplomatic and I'm usually like I say, easy, breezy, lemon squeezy, but there's always that. But like we can. You know, I am a child of Naval parents, so I have a military mind and all of that type of stuff. So it's like we won't mess with you.

Speaker 1: 15:53

She says with a smile Exactly.

Speaker 2: 15:56

You always deliver the message with a smile, always, always. So, yeah, it is difficult, and I have seen not just myself, but I've seen it happen to other women in this field, because, like I said, there is women in financial services, but as you go up the ladder to the different roles, it becomes less and less and less and less, and it becomes a, a boys club, so to speak, and and so it can be difficult to hold your own and and, in essence, command that respect without having to do this performative, you know, type of thing in order to get that respect.

Speaker 1: 16:42

I really like that you touched on that, because I feel like, as women, sometimes that can come about, isn't it? It's like, oh, this is what I need to. I need to emulate their energy, um, and so I guess my next question is what does power look like for you from a feminine perspective?

Speaker 2: 16:59

Yeah, power from a feminine perspective and this could, I suppose, also go from a male perspective as well, but really it's. You don't have power unless you're able to be yourself. If you cannot be yourself, then whatever you have is faux, it's a fake power to some degree. And if you can be yourself and be yourself, meaning you know obviously there's certain things if you're at home with your family, on the couch or whatever, you may carry yourself a bit different than if you're in that company environment. You should be able to be yourself with the frontline staff, with the consulting staff, with the executive suite, with your strategic partners. You should have the same personality, the same candor, the same energy level. If you're able to do that, then that's power, regardless of what your title is. If everybody knows this is who this person is and they're consistent across the board, then you've mastered a form of power.

Speaker 1: 18:06

I love that, wow, because we do put on marks, don't we? We do in terms of senior, uh, I can say seniorship, make up my own word, seniority, or what we believe this person is worth. And I think sometimes we see another person they may be, on paper, more successful than us and we're like, oh, let me shrink particularly as women.

Speaker 1: 18:28

I don't know if that's a man thing, but definitely as women. But then we put on this meek mask of but stepping into your power. I love that from a female perspective standing who you are.

Speaker 2: 18:39

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I've seen it done, yes, for females, and it's usually that take on that meek and docile and agreeable persona. And then for males, I've seen it as well, where they take on the you know, I'm a go getter, I'm your best friend, I'll do anything you say, I'll run to the moon and back type of energy. And there's nothing wrong at face value with those personality types or whatever. But if that's not really who you are, if you're not, I'm going to, you know, jump over the moon for the frontline person who asked you to do something the same way that the chief operating officer, then you're fake and people can sense that. And when you have that, it becomes difficult for you to move up the ladder because people, they may not say anything. It may not ever come up in your review, but it's sensed.

Speaker 1: 19:36

And do you know what it is? What's interesting about moving up? I think people that do happen to put on that kind of persona of I'll do everything for you, but then, behind closed doors, they won't necessarily do it for someone who's of less seniority, they forget that it's the people around them, below them, that are the ones that actually make them rise to the top. So if you're not authentic all the way around, you don't have their respect and therefore they can't back you to say, yeah, this person is great in running a team, for example, or associating on a on a um less senior stakeholder level.

Speaker 2: 20:08

so yeah, absolutely. And I think another point is people don't understand, um, who, those that you put on the pedestal, who they may confide in, like there's situations where someone may have been offered a promotion but they love what they do so much that they pass it up. So those chief level individuals respect that person, who may just be a supervisor, as their equal, because they know from the merits perspective, that person is their equal. Because they know, from the merits perspective, that person is their equal. They just made a choice not to go up, whether it was they didn't want to put the hours in because they wanted to go to their kids games every night, or something like that.

Speaker 2: 20:48

People do make those life balance choices where you might not be privy to why this person is in this role, and I think it's something you know, know, people always say that line you know, treat the janitor the same way you treat the CEO. And it's really true, because you don't know who people actually are and why they're in those positions and you could be, you know, basically screwing yourself almost by treating people who you think are less than that might be the key to the door you're trying to get in.

Speaker 1: 21:22

I really agree with that exactly. And so, when it comes to power, how does power, I guess, appear for you in dating like? What is your view on how power dynamics are run in the dating game from your experience?

Speaker 2: 21:38

In the dating game. I think you know this the piece of being who you are transcends both dating and the corporate world. Being able to you know, standing your own skin, and know who you are is very important, because to me, in dating, who you are is very important, because to me, in dating, all of us outside of dating, all of us, have a gravitational pull, and if you're not sure of who you are when you get into somebody else's orbit, so to speak, they can start pulling your behaviors towards their behaviors. And if you don't have that self-knowledge, you can easily become someone else when you're dating someone. And that's how I think people end up you know, quote unquote losing themselves. And so I think that the most powerful thing to be is to be aware of who you actually are, what you stand on, and be able to communicate that and be transparent about that.

Speaker 2: 22:45

The other thing I think people do a lot is they're calculated. You know it's not truly a genuine interaction. It is a interaction with a. I want to get X, Y, Z out of this thing, and if I can almost outsmart this other person, then I'm fulfilling my needs through them. And I think if you can just drop the facades and just come out and say what it is you're looking for, what it is you want, then I think that's very powerful, Because to me that means that you value what you want so much that you don't feel like you need to trick somebody or connive in any way to try and extract something from someone through, let's say, trickery or through omission, but you are willing to walk away from every situation until you get exactly what you want, and so I think those two aspects are ways that you can display your power in dating and relationships interesting that you were talking about trickery, because I know a lot of people talking about.

Speaker 1: 23:56

You know, men, um, who say they want this, or you know there's a lot of sweet words and a lot of future forwarding and that's not what they want, um, and a lot of women complaining like, okay, well, not that, I want something casual, but you could have just treated me like an adult and said, hey, I'm not looking for anything serious, yeah, it's not great. And I just wonder what your take is on the hookup trend. I guess it is a trend right, hookup culture at the moment.

Speaker 2: 24:27

I think um hookup culture. I think there's multiple angles to hookup culture. I think it's. You know, I'm a Christian and one of the things that is said a lot in the Christian community is sin will take you further than you ever wanted to go. Hookup culture in that. I think people originally they go into it for fun and then they realize that they haven't matured themselves enough to actually attract a healthy relationship. So then they default to hookup culture because they really can't offer anything else, and so it's a situation where they've trapped themselves into this false place of satisfaction. But I don't think the majority of people that are, let's say, 25 and up actually enjoy hookup culture.

Speaker 1: 25:35

Wow, there was so much to unpack there. Is that a scripture? No, but that should be like the book of Alexandria. Yeah, just add it on, just add it wherever you can slot in. I like that so much because I just think as well. That just made me feel like you know, if you sin, you know, say, say, say it again, say the words again, because they were beautiful the, the first phrase that I said that sin will take you further than you ever wanted to go.

Speaker 2: 26:05

That's yeah.

Speaker 1: 26:06

I think that's true with hookup culture, with the risk of contracting something, the risk of that soul exchange, and I think a lot of people need to wake up to that.

Speaker 1: 26:17

You know, every time you do sleep with someone there is a soul exchange, um, or an energy exchange or a piece of them, and you don't really know these are things you can't see, you don't know what you're picking up, um, you know, I myself I remember an experience where I had been very casual with someone and it was weird. It was like not my energy for so long, like maybe like a week or so, and it was just this darkness and I was like whoa, I haven't had these thoughts before, but it's because you pick up on their energy and it takes, do you know what? I cannot remember the amount of time it takes, but I remember it takes a few months for you to actually get rid of that person's energy and obviously, if you're consistently hooking up with the same person and they've given you that energy, that is a long time of you then replenishing an energy that doesn't serve you Right.

Speaker 2: 27:09

Yeah, yeah and and you know it's interesting, humans are interesting to me.

Speaker 2: 27:15

You know we, we pretend that these things could never be, like, like it doesn't, it doesn't exist, but in reality we, we know that there is a, an influence that's occurring, conscious of that. You know there's situations where, like you said, it could be a darkness or it could be an irritation or it could just be. You know, you're just snappy all of a sudden, are you now you have anxiety all of a sudden, and you know it becomes very difficult to really trace what is causing this when you're doing hookups with so many different people. And then it kind of goes back to the first point of if you haven't done your homework to actually understand who you are, you're not going to recognize somebody else's energy inside of you because you don't even know what your energy is. So before you actually, you know, engage in anything, you need to sit with yourself and actually understand who you are and stop lying to yourself. You know a lot of people and this is something that I actually looked at when I was, I don't know, 24, 25, somewhere around there.

Speaker 1: 28:36

Oh, so last year 25, somewhere around there.

Speaker 2: 28:39

Oh, so last year, no, but thank you, I'm actually going to be, uh, I'm going to be 38 on Saturday. You look gorgeous, thank you, um, but I I looked at myself, like the point we were making. I was like, okay, who am I in these different scenarios? And it's like and I got very, you know, granular with it Like, who am I in traffic on LA freeways? How do I behave? Would I behave the same way in this traffic as I would when I'm sitting in a boardroom with my co-workers? And it's not until you really get that real with yourself when you say, okay, who am I with my sisters? Who am I with my parents? Who am I with my best friend? Who am I? And then you start picking apart your different characteristics and this is another scripture, like a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways, and so if you have these stark differences between how you are in all these different situations, again it becomes very difficult for you to identify who you actually are.

Speaker 2: 29:47

And then you're. It's almost like you have multiple personalities in a way, because you're behaving so differently in all these arenas. And I listened to one I don't know who it was, but they basically said you know, if you pour toxic waste in a pond and if you pull out water on one side of the pond versus the other side of the pond, it's all toxic, like it's all in the same pool. And so I think a lot of times we forget and we think that we can carve out our romantic self from all other pieces of ourselves. And if you have chaos in this hookup culture type of life in this area, it's going to be chaotic in your business area as well, it's going to be chaotic with your family as well. That energy does not disappear simply because you put on a new mask wow, when is the book coming out?

Speaker 1: 30:44

like I just, I need so many one-liners in here. That's so good. It's true, it's very true. Yeah, I don't think I think people are waking up slowly. Yeah, I think a lot of people accepting the I don't want to say grieving, but this healing stage, and it's okay to not have someone to fill the void. You know, go through that, that particular stage alone and and have faith that that doesn't need to be where you stay, you know yeah, yeah, I definitely think.

Speaker 2: 31:20

I think people are um realizing that, you know, the gold is not at the end of these rainbows.

Speaker 2: 31:29

Basically, basically like you're you're running and you, you, there's no satisfaction. There's no satisfaction. You go through all of the rituals of it and at the end of it, you likely feel less than when you started, and I do think that there is some grieving that's going on where you realize you chase this, this false, you know this, this false path, basically, and you have to rewind and really look internally and decide to do something that that's actually meaningful.

Speaker 1: 32:07

I think people are desperately seeking meaning at this point yeah, wow, so good, and I know we were talking about, um, how black men and women are relating to each other. Can we talk about Kendra G? Maybe Kendra G will listen to us. Who knows anything?

Speaker 2: 32:24

can happen maybe she'll be the next guest.

Speaker 1: 32:27

Oh my god, oh my god.

Speaker 2: 32:28

I just found girl speaking into existence. Speaking into existence.

Speaker 1: 32:31

Right, we'll put it out there yes, but we were talking about like we love we both love her show, but we were talking about mainly black, black men and women and how they're interacting in terms of the dang game. So I would love for you to share your thoughts on this and what you've seen and what you've experienced what?

Speaker 2: 32:49

What I've seen, I think you know, from a social media perspective, is it's almost like a civil war happening between the two genders and it is a it's coming from a place of. I think this is a good segue from what we were just talking about. You know they're upset that the path that they walked on has led to basically no satisfaction and despair and hopelessness looking at yourself. When you don't look at yourself, it's easy to point blame at external things because you think life is happening to you instead of you actually creating the life that you're living. And that is something that I personally had to look at in myself of you know, the relationships that I was in. They didn't work, but why didn't they work? And was it this shocker at the end that it didn't work? Or was I fully aware that it wasn't going to work and I just chose to ignore things and and think that I can conjure things and manipulate things, and it was the latter to be, you know, very honest, and I think a lot of people need to admit how shallow they are. Most people on both sides of the fence claim that the things that they're looking for are I'm an adult, I could pick whatever I want, I have whatever. But what you're looking for is shallow. And if we go back to vibration, vibration doesn't care about how shallow the mask that shallow has on it's the energy of the shallowness is what is attracting these things to you. And so on both sides of the fence, it seems extremely transactional what you're looking for. So you want somebody to check these transactional boxes, but then you want them to fulfill this deeper purpose in your life and those two things don't go together.

Speaker 2: 35:01

And on both sides I think you know it's a, you know women. I would speak for my side. I've heard a lot of women basically asking for banks. It's like I want you to pay this, you need to be able to pay that, you need to. You know, I don't want to have to do these types of things. And then the men on the other side are saying well, I want you to look this way, you need to fulfill this side of of my desires.

Speaker 2: 35:30

And then these two come together and they can't understand why they can't find real love. And it's to me it's like are you guys lunatics? Are you listening to what you're saying? Like, if you want transactional, don't get upset. When you get transactional back, you're going to match, your energy has to match, and so whatever you get is going to be what you're getting out. And I just think that if more people I feel like the theme of this is just like know thyself, you have to be real with who you are and you'll be real with what's happening in your dating life until people actually look at themselves and say you know what? This is what I want, which means this is all I'm going to get. And if you're not okay with that, then you have to change what you're willing to give. Yes, yeah.

Speaker 1: 36:24

Oh my gosh, more gems, more gems. But it's true, it's true, it's gosh, oh, more gems, more gems. But it's true, it's true, it's, it's being aware, and I think you know this, it's more than just. I feel like everyone is very um accustomed to what meditation is in some fashion right, whether it's yoga, whether it's just taking a breath, but it's the vibration part that needs to come into play and people being being accountable, I guess, for their own energy, isn't it and what they're advertising as?

Speaker 2: 36:51

yeah, yeah, I think that's a huge piece that you know. And then I, you know, another layer to this is the um, you know the, the wanting for the, the mates of yesteryear is what I'll call them. So you know women wanting these fully, you know, providing men and then men wanting these fully submissive women but not doing the part a to that equation, like when men were fully in charge, they were fully in charge for the most part, it was the woman didn't work outside of the house. For the most part she, she tended to the house, she did all those things and she didn't split the rent or split the mortgage or none of those things. And that is what afforded the man this total submission, because it was.

Speaker 2: 37:48

You know, I don't want to knock anybody's lifestyle, but it was basically having a big kid. This is your wife, is your biggest kid, and she doesn't really have too much of a say so, cause you cover the full house. The same thing with with women If a person is getting up and going to work and paying all the bills and your car note and giving you an allowance, your say so really doesn't matter that much. Like it's, just it's. I mean it could, but be real, like be real.

Speaker 2: 38:18

Most people who are willing to pay all that stuff, they're paying that for a purpose most times. Now, granted, there are some people who and this is a very few percentage, I feel that will pay all the bills and still see the wife as an equal. There are very few women who will pay half or the majority of the bills and still let the man make all the full decisions. But I think if you're going into it expecting that to be the norm, I think you're crazy. I really think that you need to have a reality check and see that. Listen, if I want this very traditional lifestyle, then I have to be a very traditional person. I can't be new age and want traditional. Those two energies don't go together.

Speaker 1: 39:07

Wow, yeah, you've touched on something there, very interesting. Is there an in-between?

Speaker 2: 39:16

There's definitely an in-between, but it has to be in-between on both sides of the coin. And the problem is you might have a man who wants to be new age, so it's like, okay, we can split the bills, but I want to be dominant, but I want you to be fully traditional. That doesn't work. She would also have to be new age as well. So there will have to be give and take on both sides of this equation.

Speaker 2: 39:40

And I do think that there are relationships like that where it's the man is still basically the head of the household type of thing, but he probably also washes dishes sometimes and he might, you know, pick the kids up from school sometimes, or he might cook dinner and the wife might actually take the trash out on her way to work one day. Take on both of those sides and I do think relationships like that exist and they work. But I think those two people are probably very mature people in that they understand that if I it's not like you know where you could buy something as is or you could buy a la carte, I think those people are a la carte, where it's like I just want this piece and that piece and that piece and I'm okay with compromising on these pieces, and as long as you approach it in that manner, then I think it works.

Speaker 1: 40:36

Nice. Oh, so many insights. I'm like can we just stay all night? But, oh man, I think you should drop a book. I think you should leave the compliance alone or segue. Maybe it's your second business, because you have so much to give and so much and I'm sure people are going to want to reach out to you, so where can they find you?

Speaker 2: 40:57

oh well, as the business, where we're everywhere. So askdegree is the website. There's nocom. People ask that all the time, so it's askdegree. It's the website. And askdegree is on LinkedIn, it's on Instagram, it's on Twitter. If you're looking for me personally, if you want to shoot me a message, you can hit up my email. It's degree at askdegree, definitely, especially if you're going into financial services or anywhere in this field and you just want some tips or to talk. I'm always open for a virtual coffee and hopefully I can be of help and point you in the right direction. But yeah, that's where you can find me.

Speaker 1: 41:39

Awesome. Trust me guys. Well, I don't even say trust me. I'm sure you're just like, wow, she's very insightful. I'm sure you're going to go and find her. I'm going to stalk you myself on Instagram, so watch out for me. And yeah, this has been so good. I'm so happy that you came and just shed some light on not only compliance, but a lot of insight into dating and particularly vibrations. I think that's a hot topic right now.

Speaker 2: 42:02

Absolutely. It's been my pleasure and I can't wait to see this episode, of course, but all your other episodes I know you're going to do great. This is going to be amazing.

Speaker 1: 42:12

She's so sweet. Come to London Too far, I will see you. I will see you there, on your side of the world, when I go to Burning man that before I die I'm going, so I'll let you know I'll be here.

Speaker 2: 42:26

All right, thanks, thank you, thank you.